INTERVIEW: Human Aftertaste
Human Aftertaste says: "If you're going to eat it, then eat it alive..." (Human Aftertaste)
By: Sonya Brown
Sonya Brown (for In Music We Trust): First of all, who is HUMAN AFTERTASTE?
Count Jabula (of Human Aftertaste): If you want my honest opinion, the Human Aftertaste is a bunch of fruitcakes fronted by me, Count Jabula... the Nascar Superstar, the one the only "business in the front" party in the back guy! Protus tinkers with his noise makin' dumbshit gadget box (he's always bound to whip up a electronic shit sandwich); Gorgeous George beats it in the back; Creepy Charlie is a real juke box zero on his lame ass axe (he should get a real fuckin guitar instead of that ass rig he plays). Irv, my dead-beat cousin, doesn't do anything. We record his bass parts and he fakes em on stage... plus he's got no teeth to whistle with. That's the official line-up for now, but we figure that Creepy Charlie will be going to jail in August for a class x felony. Soon, he'll be replaced by this dope I barely know, Tiffany Fang... that is the dumbest name I have ever heard.
Sonya: HUMAN AFTERTASTE is a difficult band to describe... let's see you give it a shot, anyway, eh?
Count Jabula: Lemme respond with another question: Have you ever huffed gasoline for two hours while punching yourself in the no-no zone? Or, Have you ever woke up and pissed blood out your cornhole? Let's take this one step further: Have you ever been trapped in your own kitchen for 4 days on meth drinking your own urine to survive? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then you know where I'm coming from darling.
Sonya: I see that you thank Satan in your liner notes. Is the Prince of Darkness a neighbor, or what? What's up with that?
Count Jabula: Well, I've been talkin' to Dale Erhardt #3 on the Ouija board, and he claims that this Satan is hot for the Human Aftertaste. He told Dale that he and I will be turning left for eternity on a race track made of snakes and human shit. He said we'll be racin' on bicycles with seats made of broken glass, and we'll be forever chased by hungry rats that gnaw at that back of our leg tendons. I said: "hell fucking yeah! A chance to race with Dale... count me in!" See ya' soon Dale!
Sonya: "Eat Our Meat" and the "White Man's Voodoo" CDs also feature Interactive CD-ROM & music videos. Please go off on that stuff. "Tell us about it, Janet!"
Count Jabula: One time I was playin' Donkey Kong on two hits white blotter and I thought I was the princess. I grabbed hold of Mario's italian sausage and I was forced by the Donkey Kong to sit on it. I woke up to the sound of an ambulance and cop cars. I was still at the arcade and it took `em two hours to get the joystick out of my behind. I did a year stint in Rock Island County for that... so I figure those Rom's or whatever you nerds wanna call `em are just as fucked up as my run in with the Donkey Kong game. I still can't get my Willie Nelson 8-track to play on that stupid 'puter at the library. I'm not allowed in there anymore.
Sonya: I'm almost afraid to ask... but tell us about the extra- curricular messy stuff involved with your live shows!
Count Jabula: People are always gettin' pissed off that they get a little Human Aftertaste crammed in their fuckin pie holes. Always whinin' shit like: "Get that A.I.D.s monkey's blood off of me!!"..."No I won't lend you $5 dollars for more blow"..."That guy smells like shit"..."Get that robot out of my sister's pants"... So yeah it's messy, but then again it takes a real rebel to suck a stranger off in an alley... not that I'm saying I do that kind of fucked up shit.
Sonya: Is it true that some people actually got sick from your live show???
Count Jabula: Not counting the 26 case of A.I.D.s... yeah some real pussies have left or called their parents to pick them up from the show. That's not American, that's just plain Communist or gay or Asian... whatever the fuck, that isn't American, ya' know. Some kid in Shawano, Wisconsin blew a vacuum cleaner on stage WE GOT KICKED OUT! Now that is fucked up. Human Aftertaste has actually stopped some cancers in a cloned half monkey half squid animal thing... so I think that just goes to show that everyone is full of shit.
Sonya: SPAM??! I must know... "canned Human Aftertaste"? What's in that?
Count Jabula: This bothers me that everyone has to know the secret fuckin' ingredients that makes H.A. what it is! I mean do you go leanin' on the goddamn Coca Cola sayin: "Hey why is it that when black people drink your cola they become sterile?" I don't ask that shit. Or fuck, do you ask that dude from KFC why he serves three legged rats to kids in Mexico? Or, why the hell does Hamburger helper smell like corpses heatin' up in the sun. I don't know, and I don't know what's in Human Aftertaste. Drop it.
Sonya: What part does sex play within your music?
Count Jabula: Sexual speaking... I'm a sexpert. Sexologist. Or a Sexopologist. Whatever you science types wanna' call it. Yes I have studied little cocks and little pussies to see what makes them tick. Songs like "Taboo you" and "Porngroove" have been know to cause what I like to call "family fucking" in some Southern states that we have played in like Kentucky, Texas, and West Virginia. I know from my extensive book learning that "family fucking" didn't exist in these places before the Human Aftertaste. Is there a connection? I'm workin' on some theories and shit.
Sonya: The Human Aftertaste website and cd cover images on "White Man's VooDoo" contain some rather odd images involving... uh... golf?!?! Please tell us about that!
Count Jabula: Well Big Lar, the president of the Human Aftertaste, wanted to use magical warfare on our competition... ya' know like Burger King, McDonalds, and... um that place where they serve worms... oh yeah Hardee's. Anyways, he hooked up with these dudes know as the Golf Buddies and also this Voodoo Priest. To make a long story fuckin' short, they are in the process of turning most of the USA into a golf course which only serves Human Aftertaste approved products to all you lucky people. I hate fuckin' golf, it's for pussies... they said if I help, they will build a Nascar track around my trailer. I don't think I was supposed to tell you any of that.
Sonya: What's next on the agenda for Human Aftertaste?
Count Jabula: Agendas are for corporate jackass's (Big Lar) and turds (the rest of the info-tainment gang). I like to think that my sweet ass mullet is blowin' in the wind like the free bird I am. No boarders. No rules. No condoms. No blood tests. No bitches. Just a sack of Meth and a copy of JOCK... I only read the articles you dirty minded homos.
Sonya: Where can folks get some Human Aftertaste of their own?
Count Jabula: Jesus fucking christ you ask alot of questions! Okay here's the directions take a right past stupid, go up gothass alley, stay on industrial poop highway, and you'll be right on queer blvd... yup. I guess it's called our web page, http://www.humanaftertaste.com. Now if you'll excuse the fuck out of me I have to go see my chiropractor, I got a workers comp case pending against the Human Aftertaste Corporation.