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May 23, 2024

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13 (Six Weeks)

By: Jeb Branin

VOORHEES have once again donned their hockey masks and are ready to have at you with a razor sharp axe. The latest piece of VOORHEES violence is simply titled "13" so what better way to rant about it than list 13 reasons why you need to own it? 1- VOORHEES are to thrash what King Kong is to monkeys. 2- It is called "13" because it has 13 songs, except for the CD which has bonus tracks so the new name of the album should be "16" 3- VOORHEES' music has been known to cause riots. 4- VOORHEES' music sounds like a riot. 5- "13" is more destructive than your average riot. 6- All your friends will hate it. 7- All your friends will be afraid of you because this music is way too intense for them. 8 - The vocals are violent screams of rage. 9- VOORHEES have been around long enough that they are tight as hell. 10- VOORHEES are just as powerful when they are playing slow as when they are playing fast. 11- Most of the time they are playing fast. 12- The lyrics are more intelligent than you are. 13- This is better than the last album you bought... There you go... Bet you didn't think I could count to 13 did you? Yeah, well you also think you can live without this CD. You're obviously wrong on both counts.
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