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November 23, 2017


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Pornucopia
A XXX Day in the Life (an exercise in desensitization) (Adam & Eve)

By: Knob

Ever think you've seen so much hot XXX action you can't be impressed? Of course, you say this, but go right back to it because you can still bust a nut. Let's theorize. No, let's don't. Whatever the reason we can watch the same sloppy BJ or girl-on-girl toyfest performed over and over again and still achieve temporary nirvana, it's moot. A better question to ask would be "Is complete desensitization possible?" Can a whole day of non-stop porn-viewing kill the novelty?

We begin at my buddy's house, bright and early at 10 a.m. (hey--). First up, Angels of Mercy (read: sluts in nurse outfits). Nurses--good stuff. Good hot lesbo action, but mostly boring, as pornos tend to be when watched start-to-finish.

11:30 a.m.: we start another, Head Games (guess) and scene-hop, given the fact that it's THREE HOURS of the SAME GODDAMN THING. And they're not even great BJs. Sloppy is good, but what's with the trail-of-spit thing? Whoever said that's sexy? But we know a guy...an old boss...who would totally dig this one. Too bad he's an asshole, or we'd give it to him.

Noon: Lunchtime! As we chowed on cheeseburgers, we figured we'll check out this stack of Amateur Angels (parts 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8). Two out of five of us give thumbs up to the teeny titty chicks. One girl, in the lesbo scene on #4 (or was it #5) had braces and looked like she wasn't one for oral hygiene. Sick! Another girl (in #6, if memory serves), was a squirter. That was cool to watch, though one of us had experienced this before with a skank fast food worker. He said it was cool, but he got some kinda virus from it. "Would you like a sore throat and a high fever with that?" Ha! Another of us claims this shit ain't amateur. Amateur is real couples...sometimes kinda chunky...getting greased and poked in front of a camcorder. This is just some asshole who thinks he's smooth interviewing baby porn stars. We skipped through most of his inane interviews and plenty of scenes. Preference was given to lesbian scenes and the squirter.

3:45 p.m.: Three out of five of us are bored stiff. Not that stiff, just bored. After the amateurs, we skipped through a stack of DVDs: Taste of A Woman (HOT lesbian scene), Nina Hartley's How to Dominate a Woman (AWESOME--we spent some time on this one, as well as several scenes from Hot Pink 2 and The Hottest Pink...all lezzie stuff, natch--a combined SEVEN HOURS and by far the best of the stack...by the way--Nina Hartley's How to Dominate a Man was ignored with extreme prejudice).

6:00 p.m. Time for dinner...pizza, hot wings, beer. The definite highlight of the next couple hours. The Merger stank (some of these chicks, no matter how much they're made up, are just dogs...and this one guy's dong has a downward curve--doesn't anyone get grossed out by that? Doesn't it hurt?), Adult Stars at Home 1 and 2 (Lifestyles of the Middle Class skanks), Miko Lee and Friends (all Asian, definite spike in interest--still weird, almost kinda wrong to see big, dumb white guys going for it with these girls--Especially the dude with the mullet) and finally, Kink Club, a 3-hour bondage/dom/whatever film that was interesting for about 30 minutes. There were some more throughout the day that had captain droopy-dick and some other guy whose just about the UGLIEST fucker we've ever seen, not to mention looks like your typical exploiter/wife beater), but those have been omitted.

Result: Undecided. We definitely had ups and downs...and some moments where we were ready to quit, but we think we need to try this one more time-- Until next month.

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