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July 23, 2024

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Maladjusted...An interview with some guy from Weezer

By: Randy Harward

(Previously published in Salt Lake City Weekly)

City Weekly is a podunk paper. Really, it is. We tried to get Weezer frontman/leader/mainface/chief nerd Rivers Cuomo on the phone, but he was too busy, presumably pickin' opening acts for the summer tour, which kicks off here in SLC at the E Center on Friday, July 5. We were, however, granted audience with Designated Representative Scott Shriner, who entertained questions with candor and good humor.

IMWT: First, the question that is on everyone's mind: What the fuck was The Weezer thinkin' when you took that cr?me-de-la-crap nu-metal band, COLD, out on tour?

Weezer Guy: Christ if I know. I think that was a plot of the record company. That's really what it was, I think. And I think that we like to disorient people as much as possible.

IMWT: How did you feel about them getting booed off the stage?

WG: Oh, I don't think that's fun for any band. I don't appreciate that kind of thing. I think you take your chances when you go onstage with anybody and I've been in enough bands that have gotten booed.

IMWT: Got an example?

WG: I remember in my band, Broken, some girl stood in front of me and gave me the finger for about 45 minutes straight.

IMWT: Now, everyone's saying that Maladroit is radically different from the last album, but it really just sounds like a Weezer record.

WG: That's pretty interesting. There's always gonna be the common Weezer thread. Rivers has written all the songs. It's the same songwriter, you know what I mean? And obviously, ["blue album" producer] Ric Ocasek has his own kinda sound and Maladroit was self-produced and that's how it turned out.

IMWT: When are you gonna make a new album from the Rentals?

WG: [laughs] That's pretty funny. That bass player hasn't been in the band for a long fuckin' time. That's a question for their first bass player.

IMWT: Oh, okay. I gotcha. Then-- this might be a touchy subject for you, but how are you feeling since the breakdown?

WG: [laughs] This is pretty hot! I'm feeling much better now. I've got all my panties washed and I'm ready to face a new day today. That'd be bass player number two.

IMWT: Well, which one are you?

WG: I'm number three. Scott Shriner.

IMWT: How long have you been in The Weezer?

WG: Since August. I play bass. I'm the funny lookin' guy with the bigger guitar.

IMWT: Is it cool being in The Weezer?

WG: Oh, no.

IMWT: How about being a rock star? Is that cool?

WG: I don't know anything about that at all.

IMWT: Since you're the new guy, has Rivers or anyone done any of hazing-the-new-guy things to you, like taping your butt cheeks together?

WG: Once, when I was asleep, yes.

IMWT: Has he teabagged you?

WG: Oh, hell no! Nobody's teabaggin' me, bro.

IMWT: How about giving you The Spider?

WG: I don't know what that is, so I'm gonna say no to that, too.

IMWT: Do you wanna know what it is?

WG: Sure.

IMWT: I got this valuable tidbit from Alien Ant Farm. When you're all on the bus and one guy is in the bathroom, you turn off all the lights and drop you shorts. Then you make a human bridge between two opposite bunks. When the guy comes out of the bathroom and tries to make his way to the bunk in the dark, he gets a face full of ass-and-package.

WG: [laughs] Rivers definitely did not do that to me. I have yet to see Rivers' behind.

IMWT: But is it a goal?

WG: It could be for the summer, yeah.

IMWT: Is anyone going to do any of the above to Chris from Dashboard Confessional when you're out on tour with them this summer?

WG: Fuck, yeah!

IMWT: Can we hold you to that? Can we call you up and get a followup report?

WG: Yeah, sure!

IMWT: Did you pick the opening acts this tour?

WG: No. There are so many bands out this summer and there's so much goin' on that the bands we--I don't even know if I should approach this, but I'd say we--[laughs] I'll have to say the record company kinda helps, but Rivers has the final say on who's on tour with us and who's not. And he wanted Dashboard. So that's my way outta that one.

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